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temperance14Buggers. I am so fucking tired of losing time and life. Just simple pleasures. I just want to go back to when I had time to fucking READ. That's all I ever used to want to do with my spare time was read books. Now I feel guilty if I actually sit down with physical cardboard, binding and paper. Most of the books I read have to be audio, download from the computer.
I used to be well read. I used to be considered well read. Educated. Semi-smart. Informed. Now I appear ignorant.
I would LOVE to read, people. I'm sorry if I cannot pick up every recommended book! I wish I could. It took me two years after it was published to get around to Reading Lolita in Tehran--again, as audio. (I do appreciate, however, hearing the author read their own work.) I did not have the time. I did not have the money (my audio collection id downloaded). And I was not sure I was ready.
(How do you explain to people--damn it all, I cannot even explain it to myself--that I cannot always accept books at the time they are presented to me, or pressed upon me.
Oh hell. Never mind. It's late and going off topic. Resistance to stories is...another story for another time.)
Point is...I want to read. Not just current stuff....but books I've missed, books I've always wanted to read. Biggest joy about working on campus is spending my life on the 4th floor of shields library. Thought I would be willing to live in the east wing of English Lit classics. Then I discovered the poetry of the south wing. I need a parking space up there. C'mon people, just sell me the fucking copy of Ravishing Disunities, no one else borrows it. I swear I was the first person who checked it out.
Tired of writing names of songs and bands down, when I can't afford to buy the CD's, and have to wait until someone turns in a used one at Armadillo. Yeah, I know, I'm going to set up an account with Real Player to download songs. But I love the art on a CD. I love liner notes. Hell, I have replaced most of my old albums with CD's---but kept the albums for the liner art and notes. I like going to shows, buying a CD from a working local musician...someone new to the business of touring, or someone old, who knows that I know they are still making music. I miss having the Palms in my budget. I miss just going down the road to the old Palms, sitting in the gravel driveway. Filling in my diary during the break, and David Brown from the Knockouts coming over to ask what I'm doing, and we talked about favorite old movies.
I miss Uppity Blues Women.
I miss going to movies. For long time, I went through a period of being too shy to go to theatres. (OK, we were going through a period of too many gang fights in our local theatre when I lived in Vacaville.) I was tired of the expense of sitting, surrounded by chatting idiots, trying to immerse myself in a movie.
But there have been films I've wanted to see....in the last few years...and there never seems to be time. Just recently I have heard of films that I really wanted to see, to escape in. Silly things, like Bride and Prejudice. Jane meets Bollywood? Love it. (I can sit through just about any version of Darcy, as long as you give me a great interpretation of Mr. Collins.) Never saw it, and its ready to go to DVD. What's the point of Bollywood, or mock Bollywood, if you can't see it on big screen.
Steam Boy? Don't think it ever made it out here, and I never made it into the city. (Shit, my friends are still trying to coax me into Sacramento on Friday and Saturday nights for open mics and slams. I'm going to attempt Sac commute traffic for a movie at the Tower?)
Damn it all. Seriously tempted to tell all to go bugger themselves and go to their own fests, festivals, fairs and family crap.....I want to go downtown this weekend and see Kung Fu Hustle. Then go crash in a motel downtown for the night, after some pastry at Little Prague.
Fuck it. Bed time. Still haven't written what I want.
See Ruthie? I did it again. My brains and typing finger don't work any better than brains and tongue.
Time keeps on slipping, slipping, into the future
I used to be well read. I used to be considered well read. Educated. Semi-smart. Informed. Now I appear ignorant.
I would LOVE to read, people. I'm sorry if I cannot pick up every recommended book! I wish I could. It took me two years after it was published to get around to Reading Lolita in Tehran--again, as audio. (I do appreciate, however, hearing the author read their own work.) I did not have the time. I did not have the money (my audio collection id downloaded). And I was not sure I was ready.
(How do you explain to people--damn it all, I cannot even explain it to myself--that I cannot always accept books at the time they are presented to me, or pressed upon me.
Oh hell. Never mind. It's late and going off topic. Resistance to stories is...another story for another time.)
Point is...I want to read. Not just current stuff....but books I've missed, books I've always wanted to read. Biggest joy about working on campus is spending my life on the 4th floor of shields library. Thought I would be willing to live in the east wing of English Lit classics. Then I discovered the poetry of the south wing. I need a parking space up there. C'mon people, just sell me the fucking copy of Ravishing Disunities, no one else borrows it. I swear I was the first person who checked it out.
Tired of writing names of songs and bands down, when I can't afford to buy the CD's, and have to wait until someone turns in a used one at Armadillo. Yeah, I know, I'm going to set up an account with Real Player to download songs. But I love the art on a CD. I love liner notes. Hell, I have replaced most of my old albums with CD's---but kept the albums for the liner art and notes. I like going to shows, buying a CD from a working local musician...someone new to the business of touring, or someone old, who knows that I know they are still making music. I miss having the Palms in my budget. I miss just going down the road to the old Palms, sitting in the gravel driveway. Filling in my diary during the break, and David Brown from the Knockouts coming over to ask what I'm doing, and we talked about favorite old movies.
I miss Uppity Blues Women.
I miss going to movies. For long time, I went through a period of being too shy to go to theatres. (OK, we were going through a period of too many gang fights in our local theatre when I lived in Vacaville.) I was tired of the expense of sitting, surrounded by chatting idiots, trying to immerse myself in a movie.
But there have been films I've wanted to see....in the last few years...and there never seems to be time. Just recently I have heard of films that I really wanted to see, to escape in. Silly things, like Bride and Prejudice. Jane meets Bollywood? Love it. (I can sit through just about any version of Darcy, as long as you give me a great interpretation of Mr. Collins.) Never saw it, and its ready to go to DVD. What's the point of Bollywood, or mock Bollywood, if you can't see it on big screen.
Steam Boy? Don't think it ever made it out here, and I never made it into the city. (Shit, my friends are still trying to coax me into Sacramento on Friday and Saturday nights for open mics and slams. I'm going to attempt Sac commute traffic for a movie at the Tower?)
Damn it all. Seriously tempted to tell all to go bugger themselves and go to their own fests, festivals, fairs and family crap.....I want to go downtown this weekend and see Kung Fu Hustle. Then go crash in a motel downtown for the night, after some pastry at Little Prague.
Fuck it. Bed time. Still haven't written what I want.
See Ruthie? I did it again. My brains and typing finger don't work any better than brains and tongue.
Time keeps on slipping, slipping, into the future
